Wistful thoughts

Sigh — ah, to be an undergraduate again. Perhaps these nostalgic vibes are washing over me because I happened to grab a Clemson t-shirt out of my closet this morning, but I am practically overwhelmed with longing to go back to the simpler times of classes, friends and a few drops of alcohol. I plan to attend Winthrop University this fall as a graduate non-degree-seeking student in Spanish, but I know it won't be the same. I will be rushing from campus back to work on my dinner breaks, balancing homework and play time with Abbey, attempting to banish thoughts of looming bills as I study flash cards. No more bouncing down the dorm hall hopped up on too much caffeine, pigtails bobbing from side to side (the sure sign of my hyperactivity and a looming test).

I think this was all driven home today on the way home from work for dinner. I drive through the heart of Winthrop's campus every day, watching the students talking, playing football, trying to beat the traffic lights. One girl in particular struck me today. She was wearing faded denim capri overalls, her hair twisted up in funky knots, chatting on a cell phone as she walked her dog. She seemed the epitome of carefree. You take so much for granted in college. We all had problems, and some truly do struggle personally and financially all the way through, but at least for me and my circle of friends, college was absolute fun. The opportunity to be whoever you wanted to be. And, with two people inextricably tied to my life, I will never be like that again. I love my family and would never wish it away, but I can't help but marvel at how profoundly having one shapes your every thought about the future. Everything I do impacts them, and vice versa. Which is wonderful, and yet a little bit sad. The passing of youth.