The History of Love

I just finished reading "The History of Love" by Nicole Krauss. I've been wanting to read it for a long time, intrigued by reviews and the premise: a young man falls in love and writes a book just before the Holocaust; the book is published by a different man; years later, a girl named for the woman the author loved and wrote about wants to find her namesake. The novel is written from several different points of view as the characters' lives intertwine -- common in modern fiction, but I love it.

So it was an excellent book, and I must say the ending has really given me pause. It wasn't what I expected, though I don't know what I expected. I had to just sit there and reread it several times, flipping back through the book to see exactly how it fit with the rest of the story. I wouldn't call it a twist, really, just surprising. I often wish books weren't over, but this one really left me not quite knowing what to do with myself. I definitely recommend it for my more literary readers.

One passage really jumped out at me as truly beautiful:
Even now, all possible feelings do not yet exist. There are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination. From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written, or a painting no one has ever painted, or something else impossible to predict, fathom, or yet describe takes place, a new feeling enters the world. And then, for the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges, and absorbs the impact.

Huh. In looking up the book link, I discovered that Krauss is married to Jonathan Safran Foer. I haven't read "Everything is Illuminated," but from the movie, it seems they have similar styles. And topics. And Polish heritage.

On my honor, I will try ...

Oh my, I have agreed to co-lead a Daisy Girl Scout troop. What have I done?!

Well, I know what I've done. Abigail was a Daisy this year, but two complications have come up: Girl Scouts has reorganized how the different levels are determined, and we're holding Abigail back in kindergarten. So either she has to find a new Daisy troop, or she moves up to Brownies and is there for FOUR years. Someone at my church is starting up a new Daisy troop, but she needed a co-leader. Some of Abigail's church friends may join the troop, and the meetings will be mid-week rather than Saturdays like the Brownies, which would rule out soccer in the fall. So to make the new troop work, I said okay.

I'm kind of worried that Abigail will get upset when all of her Daisy friends move up, but she also said she really wants to do soccer again. She's thrilled at the thought her best church friend may join, and I'm sure if I tell her I'll be there she'll be ecstatic. It'll probably be fine, but it just ads to all the repeating worries. I don't want her to feel punished and start to dislike Scouts.

Deciding to repeat kindergarten was really tough. Abigail is super smart, and I'm really not just saying that as her mom, but she's emotionally very immature. She breaks down almost daily at school, crying over something other kids take in stride, and she still parallel plays rather than really interacting in a shared game. The immaturity has cropped up in a few places: she didn't make any really close friends this year, and she's been getting more and more discouraged about being the youngest and smallest and slowest. As the teacher said, if she went to first grade, she would either struggle and succeed or struggle and fail, but either way she would struggle. There's no WAY my kid would sit through a whole day with just one recess! Sit still and pay attention and do work more independently? Not yet.

I was worried about how to broach the topic, but Abigail actually brought it up on her own. She was worried about other first graders being 7 and about tests and work and still being young. I was able to tell her what Brad and I agreed on: that we started her a little early in kindergarten because we knew she was ready to learn and play, but it just wasn't time for first grade yet.

Her teacher next year taught first grade this year, so I've been able to play that up and make it more like kindergarten-and-a-half. And whenever Abigail starts to talk about first grade as if it were next year, I'm able to bring her back easily by asking, "But didn't you want to be 7 in first grade?" We'll really have to watch to make sure she doesn't get bored, especially with reading, but having a different teacher will make the science and social studies different, and she still isn't crazy about math and could handle the review. We're really hopeful that this will boost her confidence and make her like school again -- at the moment, school can be really frustrating since she loses recess time either to finish work or because she was talking or playing around.

I'm still really wary of the transition, and I'm sure the first week will be difficult, but after that I'm pretty sure it'll smooth out quickly.

Anyway, adding the changes in Scouting at the same time we're repeating, it's been stressful. Brad doesn't quite understand why I'm so concerned, especially about Scouts, but I just want Abigail to be happy and thrive and not feel that she's at all not good enough.

Not in vain

My father-in-law WILL be out of town on Fathers Day! Hooray! Off to my little one's first rock concert!

And I FINALLY finished "Vanity Fair." It was pretty good but quite a slog through six parts. I liked the adaptation, but I don't know if I liked the ending. Probably faithful to the book, but I'm iffy on it.

But they really might be!

I have a dilemma. There is an amazing mother-daughter bonding opportunity that I don't think I'm going to be able to have!

They Might Be Giants is giving a free children's concert in Charlotte on June 15. How exciting! How thrilling! What, you didn't know they did kids' music? They're up to three CDs now, and it's such a refreshing change to most kids' music. I mean, these are the men who taught my little girl exactly what a conifer is! I really want to go! (As does Abigail.) So I quickly made a reservation last week for the 4 p.m. show at Charlotte's mega-cool children's library -- then realized that's Fathers Day!! Egad! Who schedules a children's concert for Fathers Day?!?! There's also a 1 p.m. show, so I finally called back yesterday to see if I could change my reservation -- we'd skip church for a rock concert. But both shows are now sold out!

I have a very slight hope that we could do a Fathers Day lunch rather than dinner, but it's very slight. My non-blood relations are rather stuck in their ritual of holiday observances, and I don't think lunch will fly. But I really want to go!! And I wouldn't have time to go to the 4 p.m. Uptown and then get back in time for a festive, generally slightly strained family meal.

Is it horrible of me to hope my father-in-law will be out of town?

TMBG is key to some of my favorite 17- and 18-year-old memories. There's the conga line in high school. And the immediate bonding with Rambling the first night college. "I wanna go!!" the little girl whined.

On a side note, I just heard that Barenaked Ladies now has a children's CD. Gotta have it!

It's a gas

So driving along the interstate yesterday, I noticed a billboard for a truck stop. $4.19 per gallon for diesel. I also live in the state with just about the cheapest gas. And to think that 10 years ago this summer, I was buying gas for $.75 per gallon at the Hess on College Ave., totaling maybe $6 a tank.