Well, I know what I've done. Abigail was a Daisy this year, but two complications have come up: Girl Scouts has reorganized how the different levels are determined, and we're holding Abigail back in kindergarten. So either she has to find a new Daisy troop, or she moves up to Brownies and is there for FOUR years. Someone at my church is starting up a new Daisy troop, but she needed a co-leader. Some of Abigail's church friends may join the troop, and the meetings will be mid-week rather than Saturdays like the Brownies, which would rule out soccer in the fall. So to make the new troop work, I said okay.I'm kind of worried that Abigail will get upset when all of her Daisy friends move up, but she also said she really wants to do soccer again. She's thrilled at the thought her best church friend may join, and I'm sure if I tell her I'll be there she'll be ecstatic. It'll probably be fine, but it just ads to all the repeating worries. I don't want her to feel punished and start to dislike Scouts.
Deciding to repeat kindergarten was really tough. Abigail is super smart, and I'm really not just saying that as her mom, but she's emotionally very immature. She breaks down almost daily at school, crying over something other kids take in stride, and she still parallel plays rather than really interacting in a shared game. The immaturity has cropped up in a few places: she didn't make any really close friends this year, and she's been getting more and more discouraged about being the youngest and smallest and slowest. As the teacher said, if she went to first grade, she would either struggle and succeed or struggle and fail, but either way she would struggle. There's no WAY my kid would sit through a whole day with just one recess! Sit still and pay attention and do work more independently? Not yet.
I was worried about how to broach the topic, but Abigail actually brought it up on her own. She was worried about other first graders being 7 and about tests and work and still being young. I was able to tell her what Brad and I agreed on: that we started her a little early in kindergarten because we knew she was ready to learn and play, but it just wasn't time for first grade yet.
Her teacher next year taught first grade this year, so I've been able to play that up and make it more like kindergarten-and-a-half. And whenever Abigail starts to talk about first grade as if it were next year, I'm able to bring her back easily by asking, "But didn't you want to be 7 in first grade?" We'll really have to watch to make sure she doesn't get bored, especially with reading, but having a different teacher will make the science and social studies different, and she still isn't crazy about math and could handle the review. We're really hopeful that this will boost her confidence and make her like school again -- at the moment, school can be really frustrating since she loses recess time either to finish work or because she was talking or playing around.
I'm still really wary of the transition, and I'm sure the first week will be difficult, but after that I'm pretty sure it'll smooth out quickly.
Anyway, adding the changes in Scouting at the same time we're repeating, it's been stressful. Brad doesn't quite understand why I'm so concerned, especially about Scouts, but I just want Abigail to be happy and thrive and not feel that she's at all not good enough.
Welcome to my odditorium, a collection of curiosities made up of snippets about my life and occasional machinations on deeper subjects.
7 comments:
The former preschool teacher is teary and proud of you for making the right emotional decision for your girl.
And having a new Daisy troop will be moving, even if it isn't moving "up". *(Maybe it will be, with such a great co-leader!)
I didn't know you taught preschool! I thought you were a copy editor? Well, toddlers, reporters, often the same mentality :)
My friend Julie was held back in Kindergarten and she says it never bothered her at all. The only thing was that her Kindergarten teacher on the last day of class the first time around told her that she wanted to keep her because she had been so quiet all year and she wanted to hear more from her. The second year Julie was the loudest in the class because she thought that was what the teacher wanted.
I guess I was always the youngest in my class, but I never really noticed apart from when we started school on my birthday. I was certainly the quietest and perhaps this was about being emotionally immature. I doubt staying back would have made me an extrovert though.
I'm sure that abigail will be fine, and probably like Julie never really notice.
--The sister
I think Abigail is wilder and more dramatic than either of us were. I was almost always youngest, too, but that's back when the cut off was in October and first grade was still a lot of play. Now cut off is September 1, and first grade is hugely academic since the rise of testing (though thankfully we won't have to deal with much of that).
When we started her, I felt fine since we'd both been young, and many of my friends had. I think holding back is more common now, though, and who knows how we might have been different. Miss Kay told mom she wished she had held Trinna back, and my friend Marie thinks some of her problems were because she was young (October).
Anyway, I don't think we were wrong to start her in K, everything said she was ready. She's just not ready for first grade.
I had to chime in since my name showed up in comments! I think holding her back will give her some extra confidence socially and will make the move to 1st grade much easier. My mom has often told me what she told your mom. I was younger, smaller, and slower than everyone else, and I remember feeling very shy about it. I think another year to mature will be a great thing for Abigail!
I love the picture of her in uniform!
Love,
Trinna
Congrats on being a scout leader!
I had some great scout leaders when i was 7 and 8 years old-- I remember one day when a lady came and visited us in a wheel chair, and our leader had acquired a child sized wheelchair from a local rehab and had us all take time to try to roll it up a ramp or go through a door-- opened my eyes. Another visiter was deaf and had a translator- we had all learned the signed ABCs from a teacher and took turns spelling our name to her very carefully!
It really formed who I was. So....no pressure! LOL
You'll make it creative and fun- and you won't have the girls earning badges in hair-styling...right?
Katrinna! It always surprises me when someone pops up on here that I didn't realize reads it! Makes me a little nervous, too, what have I been writing? ... :) I'll try to e-mail you today! Just a little over a month left, right?!
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